Is it time to retire this blog?

The author is considering to retire this blog.

The older posts look like they were written by someone else. Then there are reactive posts expressing frustration with the community’s star leaders and sometimes ordinary Muslims, which represent the author’s not-so-distant past.

Many of these posts were written with indignation and frustration that people weren’t doing Islam right. And it was getting in the way of winning people over to Islam. 😬

There was concern about the growing number of muslims who no longer resonate with the ideals and concerns of traditional Islam but do not have a clear alternative in front of them either. People’s relationship with God was at stake.

There was continued belief in the promise of the qur’ān and Islam. There was a desire to articulate things in a manner that spoke to people of our time and place, especially those on the margins who are often treated like witches in medieval Christian Europe. To them the star shaikh does not speak, but fears them. And the mobs cheering for the celebrity shaikh on social media despise them too, because these people on the margins are party poopers. They ought to be attacked and lynched with words, if not on the street, for the threat they pose to the hegemonic majority.

For feeling the pain of these people on the margins and beginning to identify with them, the author sometimes screamed. He was advised, counselled and attacked. Because he was no longer speaking for and to the majority. What was wrong with him, people wondered. Why is he agitated. Why does he bite. Hush. Go away. Behave yourself.

While the author questions the reactive nature of his writing and the indignation, he also feels that he could not be radical enough on this platform. Because he was policed by friends and foes. He could not be his emerging true self. The orthodox don’t like unorthodox talk.

But he needs to ask new questions. He needs to engage in newer inconvenient conversations. He needs to push the boundaries – for his own growth and possibly the benefit of others who are concerned with similar questions. This blog is likely not the forum for that purpose.

It is perhaps the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. 

God, spare us Nouman Ali Khan's wisdom.

Dear God,

Not so long after Nouman Ali Khan messed up in a serious way, he got back into the business of selling you. And he has got his audience. 

I am guessing his 2017 mess taught him a lesson or two and affected, hopefully in a good way, how he conducts himself. But he is still weird, God. He makes lots of non-sense. And it is very unsettling for some of us.

I wasn't really hoping he would be significantly more thoughtful or well-rounded compared to his own past, just that he would shut up on certain issues, if not altogether as he was advised.

I watched this clip yesterday (courtesy my YouTube feed) and I am nauseated.

NAK is telling his ‘boys’ to ditch the witch if they care to please you and not let her emotionally manipulate them into continuing the ‘harām’ interactions (like NAK's own from a couple of years ago?!). And so they walk away from sin for the sake of your pleasure.

God, please tell us this is not about you. Tell us you are not the kind of god that can be pleased in this way.

I am tired of this notion of ‘sin’ where the (male) individual only risks his reputation with you and harms his own ākhirat – like there is no other stakeholder.

Men and women will continue to be attracted to each other. Preachers like NAK don't care to learn about the sociology of what they describe as ‘haram’ interactions or relationships. And they are not equipped to address the harm done to a woman when the repenting man walks away from her, either.

NAK is basically encouraging his bros to ditch women after hanging out (and possibly sleeping) with them, so you would be pleased. This makes for a recipe for abuse, God. Men won't stop engaging in such ‘relationships’. But given NAK's advice, they will walk away from ‘sin’ (i.e. the womankind) when they are sufficiently remorseful or ready to settle with a woman of their mom's choice.

I am tired of such religious advice that is not based on a social-scientific understanding of human experience and that fails to address how an individual's ‘sin’ affects other human beings and the planet – your creation, good lord!

While we are at it, I want to also share with you that the larger impact of an individual's sin appears to be disregarded more often when the perpetrator is a man than when she is a woman. In other words, a man's sin is more likely to be subsidized and discounted as an individual affair, between you and him; but a woman's sin seems to affect an entire family, a society, perhaps the universe.

God, I have a favorable opinion of you. And I want to maintain it. Please tell us that you are not freaking out when men and women experience attraction and a desire for love and compassion that you celebrate (Qur’an 30:21). Let us normalize this attraction and bonding. Help us see the beauty in two human beings coming together and teasing the possibilities with excitement and hope.

Then if a man, or a woman, thinks it is not feasible for them to be with someone, let them find the courage and the decency to communicate that to the other. Let them shoulder some of the responsibility that comes with freedom and not use you as an excuse to vanish from someone's life.

God, it is not ok to give hope and promise to a fellow human, a woman, then ‘repent’ and walk away from her. It is my conviction that you cannot be appeased and pleased at the expense of your creation. For we have been told to not make allāh an excuse to evade our responsibilities to fellow humans (Qur’an 2:224).

I am so done with these notions of ‘sin’ that deny human nature, ignore social reality, and diminish the impact of our behavior (men's behavior, in particular) while bidding to please you.

Spare us Nouman Ali Khan's wisdom, please. And pave the way for better ways of doing islām.

Thank you.